Slowly, Steadily,it creeps Eating me up from within Be oblivious I say to self But my self doesn't pay heed. Giving up slowly I realise, it is a slow poison, working cunningly maliciously in me. I have to combat, I say running helter-skelter, finding my refuge in spirits, herb and smoke, my antidotes. Now, my body harbours two beings One, closer to that supernatural and damaged by thoughts. Other, plunged in thoughts far from Above supported by fellow free spirits. Behind all those smiles, leaps fooleries, cackles, lies a pool of tears. Pat on the back to self, each day for the commendable show put up. Now, its time. "Enough!", said the softer voice. time to break open and stand up against the enemies. Time for the one to crush the other being from within. But somewhere the softer being knows that it ain't so easy and with that thought, it crumbles, giving it all up.
I know not anymore what I spoke Albeit I know what I felt. Memory is becoming a pariah to the mind It is your touch that reminds me of who I am and what want to be. The early morning vulnerabilities, emotional and physical remind me of the time we had, of the your breath,soothing me back to bed. And then, anxiety creeps, Will the azure of the sea and sky ever be one? Distance is the horizon, you, the limitless sky and I, the never-ending sea.
Thoughts scattered in my head Like the smoke of my cigarette Here one moment Gone the next. What's there for me I know not. To seize the day Or cease to be. Spreading happiness around me Is just a reflection Of what I want to be. Trying to fill in the gorge Left behind deep in me. Someone come to rescue Before its too late. Lest I forget the world I once wanted to create Hoping for the light In the end of the tunnel. In hoping for the light to Bring back that sun I have lost the hope that once Adorned my smile.
Battered self loathed self worthless self. Incomplete phrases, few words defining self. Hold your ground they said, spilt all over self. Where to go what to do What is next? words resounding in my head. Hovering around in blank space when things around are crumbling. how shall collect all the broken pieces of me and patch them together to find my ground? I am like the particles of dust All over and yet no where. Waiting for that drop of rain to settle me down, having found my ground.